For the founder, it may mean letting go of the business that has shaped their identity for decades. That is not just “retirement”. That can feel like grief, loss of purpose, fear, or even invisibility.
For the successor, it may mean stepping into authority while still feeling like the child at the family dinner table. They might have the title, but not yet feel they have the permission, trust or space to truly lead.
For siblings, cousins or other family members, succession can stir up old stories about fairness, favouritism, recognition, capability & who was “chosen”.
For non-family leaders, it can create uncertainty about where decisions are really made, who has authority, & whether the business is being led for performance or family politics.
This is where the Harvard 3-Circle Family Business Model becomes so useful.
It helps separate the conversations that often get tangled together:
- Family: relationships, trust, history, fairness, communication & belonging
- Ownership: control, equity, wealth, risk, voting rights & stewardship
- Business: leadership, roles, accountability, performance, decision-making & execution
When those circles are blurred, people can end up having the wrong conversation in the wrong room.
A business decision becomes a family wound.
An ownership conversation becomes a loyalty test.
A leadership issue becomes a sibling rivalry in a suit.
And suddenly, the succession plan is not failing because it was badly written.
It is failing because the system around it is not ready to carry it.
That does not mean every family business needs therapy. Sometimes what is needed is structure, clearer roles, better meeting rhythms, agreed decision-making rules & the discipline to separate family, ownership & business conversations.
But sometimes, a family business advisor is not enough.
If the family is carrying deep trauma, unresolved grief, long-standing conflict, addiction, abuse, severe trust breakdowns, or patterns that keep repeating no matter how much structure is put in place, then it may be time to bring in a qualified psychotherapist or family systems professional.
That is not failure.
That is wisdom.
My role is to help create clarity, structure, accountability & healthier business conversations. But there are times when the emotional work needs a different professional skill set. The best outcomes often happen when everyone stays in their lane, respects the others’ expertise, & puts the family business first.
Either way, families need the courage, structure & discipline to name what is really going on.
- Who is actually leading?
- Who still wants control?
- Who feels overlooked?
- Who is avoiding conflict?
- Who has authority on paper but not in practice?
- Who owns shares but does not understand the responsibilities of ownership?
- Who is mixing family love with business performance?
In my work as a Family Business Advisor & Certified EOS Implementer®, I help families separate these conversations so they can make clearer decisions.
Not by pretending the emotion is not there.
It is always there.
But by giving it a place, rather than letting it quietly hijack every discussion about roles, accountability, ownership & succession.
Because succession planning is not just about answering: “Who takes over?”
It is about answering:
- Can the founder let go?
- Can the successor truly lead?
- Can the family trust the transition?
- Can the owners act as responsible stewards?
- Can the business keep performing while all of this is happening?
That is why a succession plan is only as strong as the people, relationships & structures expected to carry it.
The real question is not simply: “Do we have a succession plan?”
It is:
“Are our family, ownership & business systems emotionally ready, structurally clear & disciplined enough to make it work?”
Credit to Tom Skotidas for the article that sparked this reflection.
His piece, Why Family Business Succession Plans Fail, looks at the emotional dynamics of succession through a family business psychotherapy lens. I’ve added my perspective from the practical family business advisory space, using the Harvard 3-Circle Family Business Model & business operating tools to help families create clarity, structure & healthier decision-making.
Succession does not become easier by avoiding the hard conversations. It becomes easier when those conversations happen in the right room, with the right people, using the right structure.
If your family business is navigating succession, leadership transition, ownership tension or unclear decision-making, I can help you separate the family, ownership & business issues so the path forward becomes clearer.
Email me at debra@businessaction.com.au to start the conversation.
